CG Booklet v4.1 2

---

BLOCFSA LKA =KLQEAO $PMPTTJBOT


family devotionals ACTIVITY:

Week #3: Forgive One Another

Read Matthew 18:21-35. You can choose to answer these separately on paper and then go over them or just walk through it as a family and discuss as you go. If kids are unsure go back to the passage to find the answer. True or False: __ Jesus said you only have to forgive someone 7 times. __ The King felt sorry for his servant. __ The servant also forgave the other servant who owed him money. __ We are the servant in this story and God is the King. __ We are not really to count how many times we forgive someone. __ It is easy to forgive someone when they keep hurting you.

FOCUS: STEP IT UP:

(if you are able to make more time in your week)

We forgive others because God forgives us. Get slips of paper and pens/pencils for each family member. Write down the name of someone who has hurt you. Pray: “God, ____________________ really hurt me but I know you want me to forgive them. Please help me to forgive them and show them grace like you do to me. AMEN.” Offer for kids to share who they wrote down but do not force them to share. Remind them that this is between them and God. Everyone should take that piece of paper and destroy it. Shred it, scribble on it, or even throw it in the fireplace (be careful!). As you do this remind kids that this is a reminder that we should not hold onto our anger but forgive and that will give us a feeling of relief.

GO DEEPER:

(have older kids or are just ready for more?)

Read Matthew 18:35. What does it mean that the Father (God) will treat us “this way?” How does this make you feel? If we have truly received Jesus as our Savior one of the things that should result or that we should have is a forgiving heart. We cannot RECEIVE forgiveness if we do not GIVE forgiveness.

Common Ground 2017: One Another

Page 39

ADULT DEVOTIONALS

WEEK 3: MONDAY “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.” - Colossians 3:13 Forgiveness comes up often in “churchy” conversations and is a common theme in the lyrics of praise music. You can probably think of a few Bible verses right now that mention forgiveness. But how much of our talk of forgiveness is just lip service vs. real recognition of the importance of both giving and receiving forgiveness? Is forgiveness really a priority for us? The world is a tough, unfair place, and we all are wronged or suffer injustice more often than we’d like. It could be something relatively minor like getting cut off in traffic or something big like a deep hurt in a relationship. If I’m honest, when I’m wronged, or when I even think I’ve been wronged, my first thought is not always a loving, patient thought about forgiveness. Instead I think, if only briefly, “How can I get back at that person?” Road rage, anyone? Yet forgiveness is clearly a priority in the Bible. The words forgive, forgiven and forgiveness appear 121 times throughout the Bible, and forgiveness gets special mention in the Lord’s Prayer, “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” And think of Christ’s powerful words on the cross, “Forgive them Father, for they do not know what they are doing.” In contrast, two words that represent the opposite of forgiveness—revenge and vengeance—are, maybe surprisingly, mentioned sparingly only about 40 times in the entire Bible. That’s one-third as much as forgiveness! Maybe that should inspire us to prioritize forgiveness and de-emphasize getting revenge. In situations in which you’ve been wronged, is your first reaction to think of forgiveness? Starting today, pray that God would help you to make forgiveness a priority in your personal relationships and daily interactions.

Common Ground 2017: One Another

Page 41

ADULT DEVOTIONALS

WEEK 3: TUESDAY “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another…” - Colossians 3:12-13 Forgiveness is good for you. If you’re the one offering forgiveness, there is real power in allowing yourself to be free from the controlling feeling that you’ve been wronged and nothing will ever be right again. If you’re the one being forgiven, you can move past the guilt that comes with the sense that you’ll never be able to get away from your past. And in a community, forgiveness can build relationships and create a foundation for growth and service. Why is this the case? In the above passage, forgiving one another goes hand in hand with a list of other attributes of Christian character. Similar to the list of the “fruits of the spirit” found in Galatians 5:22-23, key Christian traits like compassion, kindness, and humility are elements of a healthy spiritual life. These traits both describe how we should act and also provide a foundation that enables us to “bear with each other and forgive one another.” But don’t take my word for it, or even the Bible’s. Modern psychology recognizes the power of forgiveness and of letting go of wrongs suffered from others. According to the American Psychological Association, forgiving someone else can improve both mental and physical health across a range of measures. On the other hand, when we don’t forgive, we can do emotional harm to ourselves as well as to the relationships we have with others. That’s good modern-day confirmation for what the Bible told us 2,000 years ago! Do you recognize how forgiveness goes hand in hand with a healthy, balanced Christian walk? When faced with an opportunity to forgive someone, think of how forgiveness reinforces all of the traits God is trying to build in us as individuals and as a community of growing, healthy, believers.

Common Ground 2017: One Another

Page 42

ADULT DEVOTIONALS

WEEK 3: WEDNESDAY “…clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” - Colossians 3:12 Does forgiveness have a limit, in terms of what types of things we should forgive? Have you ever heard someone say, or even said yourself, “Oh, I could never forgive someone for that…?” For most of us, the good news is that the things we forgive are mostly minor, shortlived issues that thankfully are not too serious or too deep: the unintentional slight from a friend, a harsh word spoken in haste. Those offenses need to be taken seriously and might cause some strong emotions, but hopefully we can deal with them with quick, graceful forgiveness. What about those situations, though, where there is a deep, ongoing, serious sin against you by another person? Are they forgivable? The life story of World War II veteran Louis Zamperini offers an amazing and powerful lesson in “extreme forgiveness” and provides us with an example of just how far we can go to forgive. Zamperini spent years in a Japanese prison camp after his plane crashed in the Pacific. As told in the best-selling book Unbroken, by Laura Hillenbrand, he suffered incredible injustice and unimaginable injury at the hands of his captors. After the war, he struggled to recover from his experiences and descended into bitterness and substance abuse as a way to cope. Thankfully, he later found peace after becoming a Christian during a Billy Graham crusade and his life turned around. Convicted and motivated by his newfound faith to offer forgiveness for the terrible things he had suffered—or especially for those things—he later traveled to Japan and made attempts to reconcile with the worst of his abusers. As Zamperini tells it: “My forgiveness was so authentic and total that I looked forward to seeing each of them. I longed to look into their eyes and say not only “I forgive you,” but to tell them of the greatest event of forgiveness the world has ever known when Christ on the Cross, and at the peak of his agony, could say of his executioners, “Forgive them father, for they know not what they do.” Is there a limit to your forgiveness? Is there anyone that you need to forgive that you’ve been avoiding because the hurt is too deep? Take a minute to ask God to expand your view of forgiveness.

Common Ground 2017: One Another

Page 43

ADULT DEVOTIONALS

WEEK 3: THURSDAY “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” - John 8:11 Forgiveness gets a bad rap. Unfortunately, in practice and perception, offering forgiveness is often equated with being a victim, getting taken advantage of or letting someone get away with something. “If I forgive him,” we argue, “he’ll just think it’s OK and do it again!” But being forgiven doesn’t mean anything goes. In the biblical model forgiveness should be seen as a corrective step, a chance for the one being forgiven to start over, to change course, and change heart. A great example of this comes from John chapter 8, in the story of a woman who is about to be stoned by a group of legal scholars after she has been caught in adultery. Jesus comes to her rescue by pointing out the hypocrisy of her accusers, shaming them into letting the woman go free. So far so good, right? But then Jesus, after forgiving her, goes one step further by admonishing her to “go now and leave your life of sin.” Why is that important? It illustrates that although Jesus forgave her sin, he was definitely not condoning her adultery. He wasn’t saying, “I forgive you, so that makes anything you do OK.” In the biblical model, forgiveness and justice can, and should, go hand in hand. If you are forgiven, it does not mean that you are no longer accountable for your actions. Instead, it means that you’ve been given a valuable chance for a fresh start. To take advantage of forgiveness and view it as a cheap license to go on sinning would be disrespectful of the one offering you grace, whether the forgiveness is offered by another person or by God. When you think about forgiveness, remember: If you forgive someone, you’re not giving them free rein to continue what they were doing. And when you’re forgiven, your behavior still needs to change.

Common Ground 2017: One Another

Page 44

ADULT DEVOTIONALS

WEEK 3: FRIDAY “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” - Colossians 3:13 How does God forgive? Forgiveness can be a tough thing to offer. It is often difficult to receive. And unfortunately, the world’s model of forgiveness doesn’t always align with the biblical ideal, making it hard for us to have the right perspective when we’re faced with a situation that calls for forgiveness. But when we consider the many Bible passages that talk about forgiveness, a pattern emerges of a God who forgives freely, fully, and forever. That’s a model we should all try to follow. First, God forgives us freely. He is not stingy with forgiveness, and he doesn’t withhold it from us when we ask. As we read in 1 John, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” No mumbo jumbo or “pretty please” necessary. Next, God forgives us fully, not partially. When a sin is forgiven, it is forgiven completely, all the way. Isaiah 1:18 tells us, “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.” It’s comforting, isn’t it, to know that every sin is fully forgivable? Finally, God’s forgiveness is forever. It is not a temporary, conditional act that needs to be renewed. A reminder comes from Isaiah 43.25, “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.” Forgive and forget, indeed! Forgiveness can be a challenging, emotional act. But by taking some helpful lessons from these and other examples in the Bible, and making a prayerfully conscious effort to put them into practice, we can learn to forgive as the Lord does. Whether you’re forgiving someone, or you are the one being forgiven, remember to approach forgiveness the way God does. Don’t view forgiveness as something you give grudgingly, partially, and temporarily. Instead, forgive freely, fully and forever.

Common Ground 2017: One Another

Page 45

ONE ANOTHER

WEEK 3: FORGIVE ONE ANOTHER OCTOBER 1, 2017

DISCUSSION GUIDE

MAIN POINT As Christ followers, we have been fully forgiven by God, and are therefore called to forgive others.

INTRODUCTION On June 17, 2015, nine church members were ruthlessly gunned down during a Wednesday night Bible study at a historic African-American church in Charleston, South Carolina. Following the shooting, the victim’s family members made headline news when they faced the shooter in the courtroom. But instead of launching justifiable insults against the young man who killed their loved ones, they took a different approach. They forgave him. “I forgive you,” Nadine Collier, the daughter of 70-year-old Ethel Lance, said at the hearing, her voice breaking with emotion. “You took something very precious from me. I will never talk to her again. I will never, ever hold her again. But I forgive you. And have mercy on your soul.” (washingtonpost.com) Why did the family members make headline news? Because forgiveness of this magnitude is rare. To some, it might even seem inappropriate. Most of us struggle with forgiving small offenses. We want mercy for ourselves and justice for those who sin against us. But receiving and granting forgiveness is at the core of the gospel message. The Bible teaches there is a direct correlation between having been forgiven by God and extending forgiveness to other people. Do you think forgiveness is difficult for most people? If so, why? Explain why you feel the way you do.

Are you prone to nurse a grudge?

What offenses are hardest for you to forgive?

C.S. Lewis said, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” What are your thoughts on Lewis’s quote? Do you agree or disagree? Explain your answer.

Common Ground 2017: One Another

Page 46

ONE ANOTHER THE CHAPEL

DISCUSSION GUIDE

UNDERSTANDING > READ COLOSSIANS 3:12-14.

According to verse 12, whom was Paul addressing in this passage?

What did Paul instruct his audience to do?

What do you think it means to “clothe yourself” with the virtues Paul mentioned?

The characteristics of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and forgiveness stand in stark contrast to the vices mentioned in the preceding verses. As individuals and members of a church community, our aim is to be part of the transformation process of being renewed in the image of Christ. Our old ways of living are to be discarded, and the new characteristics of Christ are to take their place. Since the old way of living has been “put off,” we are to “clothe ourselves” with a new way of living that represents our new life. It’s notable that the behaviors Paul described all pertain to personal relationships.

Why do you think Paul went to great lengths to instruct believers on how to treat one another? Why are relationships so important in the body of Christ?

Practically speaking, how do we “clothe ourselves” with these virtues?

Two lessons ago we studied a new commandment Jesus gave His followers. Look up John 13:34-35. How does Paul’s instruction build on Jesus’ commandment for His followers to love one another?

When you look at the characteristics Paul listed in verses 12-13, which is the biggest challenge for you? Explain.

Paul understood that when people live in a close knit biblical community, disagreements are inevitable. Having a disagreement with another person isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But how we respond to disagreements is extremely important. Christ followers are called to address problems in our church community with the characteristics of compassion, kindness, gentleness, and patience that

Common Ground 2017: One Another

Page 47

ONE ANOTHER THE CHAPEL

DISCUSSION GUIDE

Paul described in this passage. In American culture, it’s a common thing for people to call for “tolerance.” But Christians are called to do far more than tolerate one another. We are called to love and forgive one another.

What is the difference between tolerating someone and loving and forgiving them?

Why does simply tolerating someone fall short of the biblical command to love one another?

> READ EPHESIANS 4:31-32.

To what degree did Paul instruct the church at Ephesus to forgive one another? Does this sound realistic to you? Why or why not?

In your opinion, how does it look to non-believers when there is fighting within the church community and members refuse to forgive one another?

Paul warns his readers to “get rid” of bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, slander, and every form of malice. Obviously, to “get rid” of something requires intentionality on our part. We can’t simply ignore our emotions and hope they will go away. But as Christians, we can work through our negative emotions and prayerfully ask God to help us deal with them. Being kind and compassionate to one another flows from the fact that God has forgiven us completely. We need His forgiveness on a daily basis. As Christ followers, we are called to forgive others in the same manner that God forgave us. The enemy of our souls will exploit an unforgiving attitude, and if we refuse to forgive we will likely become angry and bitter. When someone sins against us, we need to treat him or her in the same manner God has treated us—with kindness, compassion, grace, and mercy. We are called to forgive others for Jesus’ sake. As Christians, we are to care for one another. When disagreements arise, rather than simply writing people off, we should focus our effort on a peaceful resolution that leads to forgiveness and restored relationships. Christ followers need one another.

APPLICATION What old sins have you discarded since you became a Christian? Have you “clothed” yourself with positive characteristics (like Paul described) to put in their place? If so, what are they?

Common Ground 2017: One Another

Page 48

ONE ANOTHER THE CHAPEL

DISCUSSION GUIDE

Is there someone in your family or church community with whom you need reconciliation? Is there someone to whom you need to apologize? Do you need to ask for forgiveness? If so, what’s holding you back?

Who in your church community could you show some kindness to this week?

How would you describe your relationships within your church family? What steps can you take to draw closer to your brothers and sisters in Christ?

PRAY Father, we thank You that because of Christ Jesus, our Savior, you are quick to forgive us when we sin against You. We ask You to make us people who are quick to forgive others. We pray you will empower us to show each other kindness, compassion, and patience. We ask for strong and healthy relationships in our church community.

MEMORIZE Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. – Colossians 3:13

COMMENTARY COLOSSIANS 3:12-14

3:12. The new clothing of the Christian begins with personal attributes: compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Their inclusion suggests the need for long-suffering with others in the group. The entire context is slanted toward harmony in the church. Since the letter does not reveal a problem in the church, either these are always appropriate or they addressed a problem otherwise unknown to the modern reader. Significantly, Paul focused on the individual who is to have patience, rather than the one who caused a problem. The place to begin in any group tension is with oneself rather than others. 3:13-15. Paul added two character qualities to his list. The Greek term rendered “accepting” means “putting up with.” Believers were to endure offenses patiently. Forgiving has the sense of pardoning others as a gift of grace. If a believer had a complaint (grievance) against another Christian, the offended person was to take the initiative to forgive the offender as (in the same manner) the Lord

Common Ground 2017: One Another

Page 49

ONE ANOTHER THE CHAPEL

DISCUSSION GUIDE

graciously had forgiven the one offended. Christians were to take the initiative to forgive others because of their personal experience of Christ’s forgiveness. Above all literally is “over all.” As an outer garment covering the items Paul had listed, believers were to put on love—agape, determined good will that seeks others’ best interests. Such persistent good will is the perfect bond of unity. Christ had called believers to His peace—spiritual wholeness under His lordship. The phrase in one body implies believers’ oneness under Christ’s rule as the Head of His body, the church. They were to allow Christ’s gift of spiritual health to exercise control (literally, “act as an umpire”) at the center of their lives (in their hearts). Gratitude was to be a continuing characteristic of their life together. The exhortation to be thankful applied especially to corporate worship. EPHESIANS 4:31-32

Paul challenged the Ephesian believers to rid their lives of every form of evil attitude and action towards others—bitterness (simmering, seething anger), rage (hot temper), festering anger, brawling (literally, “shouting”), slander (speaking evil of others), as well as any form of malice (vicious thoughts and intentions toward another). Paul may have intended a progression in this list. Simmering bitterness easily leads to explosive rage, which in turn develops into festering anger that produces angry words and slanderous attacks on others. Rather than starting that terrible sequence, the end of which can be murder, we are to respond differently. The response that avoids behavior described in the previous verse is to choose to act toward others with kindness, compassion, and forgiveness. If God in Christ has forgiven us of rebellion against Him, how can we not forgive those who have sinned against us? Our relying on the Holy Spirit to enable us to deal with all people kindly, compassionately, and with forgiveness is powerful evidence of the work of God’s Spirit in us. We Christians are to live in ways that differentiate us from unbelievers.

Common Ground 2017: One Another

Page 50