Common Feelings of an Adult Caregiver

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Common Feelings of an Adult Caregiver Elaine M. Brody, Parent Care as a Normative Family Stress

GUILT – is the most common and prominent emotion of caregivers. It can stem from a variety of feelings such as the life-long relationship between the parent and child, to events in their lives, to the natural stress that comes from the task of caring. For most caregivers of aging parents, guilt is often related to unrealistic expectations of others and ourselves. “. . .but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me . . .Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on . . .” Phil. 3:12-14

ANXIETY – is rooted in our fear of the unknown and our inability to control the future. We often worry about our capacity to “juggle” our parents’ needs and the needs of our families, wondering from where the time and energy will come. “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it own.” Matt. 6:34

FEAR – is associated with the plight of the elderly. Often it requires adjusting to one loss after another. The elderly may suffer physical, social, and financial losses. And finally, there is the loss of life itself. We fear this for our parents, and, in experiencing it with them, we cannot avoid facing our own immortality. Psalm 23

ANGER – is a normal part of the grief process. It can be experienced as frustration, irritation, annoyance, resentment or other variations. Sometimes anger results in blaming, and it usually will not go away by ignoring or suppressing it. “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” Eph. 4:26-27

GRIEF – is the natural result of any loss. We are losing the people upon whom we have always depended. While our culture provides support when death is experienced, it often ignores the kinds of losses caregivers experience daily. Psalm 91